“There’s lots of good fish in the sea…maybe..but the vast masses seem to be mackerel or herring, and if you’re not mackerel or herring yourself you are likely to find very few good fish in the sea.”
-D. H. Lawrence
I am not a mackerel. Or a herring. In the past five years I’ve tried Plenty of Fish, Lavalife, Match, Alikewise and eHarmony. I have met many a nice mackerel and a number of heinous herrings in the process. But never the right one.
Online dating is exhausting. You spend hours looking at profiles, writing emails, learning about siblings and hobbies, chatting on the phone and then you get to the meeting and either one or both of you thinks “No.” Sometimes you think, “Hells no.”
On the rare occasion (and I’m talking about once a year here), you think “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!”. And maybe for some that Yes leads to happily ever after and a walk down the aisle. For me I usually think Yes for a month and then he does something that makes my gut mumble, “Sorry to tell you this love, but No.”
You might be thinking, “Damn that girl’s picky!” Yes I am. But if I wasn’t, I might have ended up with that guy who pretended to be an old woman having an orgasm in the middle of Bridgehead. Or the guy who told me a story about shooting at his dog to get him to obey. I may have ended up with the guy who said all the right things but couldn’t follow it up with action. The guy with anger issues. The guy who didn’t know what he wanted. Thank goodness, I’m picky.
But this isn’t a sob story. I am single. But now I’m single and not looking for an out.
Since I stopped online dating I find I’m waking up on the right side of the bed. Every day. I read more. I enjoy my hobbies more. I have my life back and I’m enjoying every minute of it.
I’m not saying I’m giving up on love. Certainly not! I’m just giving up the control. I’m handing the reins over to Fate. I’m sure she’ll have some amazing surprises in store.