Dating at a Distance

Have I mentioned that the Boy is moving away? He’s in the Navy and they’ve posted him out East for the beginning of July. I think we’re both kind of torn up about it. And while I’ve known that this was coming for a while , I kept thinking, “Oh July is so far away, pshaw. There’s loads of time for the two of us.”

But it’s feeling real now. He’s making trips home to say goodbye to family and friends. He’s flying out to Nova Scotia to look for an apartment. Cutting loose ends. Prepping.

The good news is two-fold: we’ve decided to date at a distance, and that means I’m going to be visiting the East coast!

Tell me, have you ever dated someone at a distance? How did you guys make it work?



Live Up to Love: Advice from Steinbeck

John Steinbeck, author of The Grapes of Wrath and Of Mice and Men, got a letter from his son, Thom during his stay at boarding school. Thom wrote that he’d fallen head over heels for Susan, a girl at school. This is what Steinbeck wrote back the same day:

New York
November 10, 1958

Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First—if you are in love—that’s a good thing—that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second—There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you—of kindness and consideration and respect—not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply—of course it isn’t puppy love.

But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it—and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone—there is no possible harm in saying so—only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another—but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens—The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.





Cupid Would Be Proud

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I’m usually all over pink and red at this time of year but what have we here? A heart of gold! How fitting! How cute would this headband and odette arrow ring be with a little pink dress? Yes please! Whatever you wear it with, wear your heart of gold  out where your beau can see it tonight!

Tell Someone You Love Them

Matt Clayton Photography

It’s the second day of Random Acts of Kindness Week! Today I want you to tell someone you love them. It could be your hubby, your mom or heck, even your dog. But I want you to look ’em in the eye today and say, “I love you!!” Why? Because it’s easy to get in the habit of saying it on the sly, “Love ya babe” or think that you don’t even need to say it because they already know. But it’s nice to be reminded, isn’t it? Especially if they haven’t been told for a while. And while you’re at it, think about all the things you love about that person before you say it. Do they laugh at your Julia Child impersonations? Do they have a kind smile? Do they rub your head when you’re sick? Count the ways you love them and then blurt it out!

Romance Yourself a Little

It’s about that time of year when everybody starts feeling a little blah. The weather is blah.  Your motivation is blah. And even your wardrobe feels blah – you’re over the chunky knit sweater phase but it’s too cold to wear skirts and ballet flats. 

What we need is a little somethin’ somethin’ to perk up our spirits. My suggestion? Romance. And I’m not talking about the kind that requires a beau.

I think we deserve our own kind of romance, don’t you? Let’s woo our fabulous selves by picking up posies for our abodes, lighting candles, dining out at that cute little bistro around the corner,  reading the classics, listening to jazz, taking long hot bubble baths, enjoying a massage for a delicious hour and half, watching a Cary Grant film, savouring a piece of dark chocolate and rocking hot pink lipstick. What do you say? I’ve already booked a massage for this weekend and prettied up my coffee table with pink tulips.

Timing is everything

As a singleton, it’s easy to get impatient. Especially when you thought you would have met your guy by now. And especially when you’ve had a string of  going nowhere dates and relationships. It’s easy to give up on love. It’s easy to give up hope. But it doesn’t feel great when you do. (And you never give up really anyway.) So here’s what I’m thinking. Good things happen to those who wait. I’m betting on that. And I’m betting on love. What about you?