Feeling Fresh

I have a mini personal update. I’ve been eating vegan at home for a couple of months now. I’m really loving it. This all coincided with my decision to cast dieting to the curb. I’ve spent a lot of my life as a slave to the scale. I’ve gone through entire days eating nothing more than an apple, spent 6 months of my life on a liquid diet, counted calories and given up on myself by stuffing my face. As a result my weight has been all over the map. At my highest I weighed 248.5 pounds. At my lowest I weighed 165.

I was obsessed with my body. I went to therapy. Not to chat about my weight, strangely enough, but we ended up landing on that issue a few times. And my therapist made me promise not to diet again. Eeek!  I remember feeling absolutely petrified. So I didn’t diet. But I didn’t eat well either. So naturally my weight started creeping up again. My clothes felt tight. I don’t think I’d come to terms with the idea yet. So I treated that time as a time to binge. To make lemon ricotta cookies and eat them all. You know how the story goes.

But then the lovely  Tonya from one of my favourite blogs – The Bee Charmer, introduced me to Victoria Moran. I read Living a Charmed Life first and moved on to her entire library. It was The Love Powered Diet that really made me realize my bad eating habits. It made me realize I wanted to go vegan (for the most part) and that I’d been disrespecting my body and, in turn, myself. I realized that I’d spent my whole life thinking that the only way I could lose weight was to not eat (oh and throw a little exercise in there too). No more.

I love my body. I love the potential of my body. But I don’t want to look like a supermodel. I want to accentuate my curves. I want to be strong. I want to feel healthy. So I’m done with the scale. And I’m done with measuring myself. I’m through with taking before and after photos. And I’m through with allowing a number to make or break my day, to stop me from eating or giving me an excuse to eat  too much. I’m through with counting calories. I’m through with starving my body. I’m eating beautiful things these days. When I go grocery shopping, I want a beautiful cart. When I order dinner I want everybody to envy my plate because it’s just so darn pretty.

I’d still like to lose weight. I want to see my hourglass figure. I want to feel like I could beat the boys in pushups. I want to stand tall. So I’m starting P90X. This is the mother of all workouts. It’s high on strength training. But it definitely throws in some cardio too. So last week I picked up some weights (3s, 5s, 8s, and 15s) and a dumbbell rack and started the workouts on Friday.  I already feel stronger! It’s crazy! The only thing I’ve found a little confusing about the program is that you don’t get a lot of suggestions on how heavy a weight you should use, how many reps you should do. I finally found this to help me out – targeted at using P90X for weight loss. So wish me luck! It’s a 90 day program. But I guess I’m only 86 days away from completing this physical challenge. I’m ready for it.

6 thoughts on “Feeling Fresh

  1. I love the poster at the beginning of your entry – I feel that way too! I want to wish you a positive experience as you begin your new workout.

  2. April – I applaud you! You go, girl!
    Good luck on your challenge. Be motivated. Go for it.
    I love that you eat vegan at home. I wish I had that discipline. I keep saying “I’m a flexitarian”, not wanting to commit.
    How long are the workouts? When do you usually do them (morning before work? evening before bed?)? The key to a daily workout and stick to it is to do it at the same time of day, so it becomes a routine. With my yoga practice, it’s now in the afternoon when Margot is napping. Sometimes it’s challenging to get on the mat and I’d rather do other things (or tasks). But once I start, I’m happy. And I feel great and a better person at the end. “May the benefits of your….. (workout/yoga practice) spread into your life and into the lives of everyone around you.”

    • Thanks Jen!! The workouts range from an hour to an hour and a half. I try to do them in the evening after dinner. I’m dead tired afterwards though. Lol. So it’s probably a good thing it’s after I get home. Good for you and doing yoga! That is so fantastic. Big hugs to you!

  3. Those are quite long workouts. I don’t blame you for being tired afterward. Ouf! It’s all worth it if you enjoy doing them and you feel good.

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