Shhhhhh….

{via Librarian Lyss}

Someone new has entered my life who has a motor mouth. At first I thought she was just nervous. And then I realized she’s not. She likes to talk. And getting a word in edgewise is not an option. So lately I (and many of the other people who have to deal with her) have been victims of her monologues. She will prattle on about anything and everything. Ask her what she’s doing this weekend and you will sit through a 20 minute ramble about how she is doing nothing but cooking lasagna and then she will offer you a blow by blow on how to cook an organic, gluten free  lasagna which is not something you would ever want to cook in your lifetime. In those 20 minutes, she will glance around the table to ensure that someone is looking at her and listening to her. If one person is she will carry on, moving on to inform you how to deseed a pomegranate. Want to mention that you love pomtinis? Good luck! You’ll never get the chance.

I feel as though I’ve tried everything. I started not looking at her when she carries on. I’ve started up new conversations. I’ve gotten up and left her vicinity if she keeps blabbering on.

Nothing is working. And I am beyond annoyed. I find it entirely rude. How self involved do you have to be to think it’s ok to talk about yourself for minutes on end? I don’t care if you’re socially awkward. I don’t care if you’ve done some cool things in your life. A conversation does not consist of one person yammering on. It’s held especially for two or more people. Which is a lovely thing.

What the hell do I do? I don’t have much choice but to deal with her.  I feel like a prisoner stuck in a horrid rendition of a Shakespeare soliloquy except the drama amounts to “To peel, or not to peel the kiwi. That is the question.” which is entirely anticlimatic. I can’t get out. So dear readers, I’m begging you for advice. How do you tell someone to please shut the hell up without saying what you really want to say.

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8 thoughts on “Shhhhhh….

  1. What a predicament you are in. One that is absolutely common unfortunately. This is what you call the black sheep or the runt in some cases. Have you ever noticed that in most clicks/groups of friends there is one person that is teased or forgotten about on occasion. At this point I’m sure you have an office click and it seems as if she may be trying to become one with he group. If this is the case that’s good for the black sheep that exists already but not good for the rest of the group. I say confront her about this issue, tell her that she needs to let other people get a word in once and a while, then punch her in the face, and call it a day.

    • Well this made me laugh, thanks David. I don’t mind black sheep. I get that it’s a tough spot to be in. But if she’d just engage in conversation, it’d be so much easier! I wish girls worked the same way that guys worked (minus the boxing).

  2. Hi April,

    Sounds like she needs some lessons in listening! But on the other hand, doesn’t it make you wonder why she needs to talk some much and command the attention of anyone around? In a profession where talking and listening is so important, that’s always something that makes me wonder – why people feel the need to talk. Maybe she’s afraid thats her ‘thing’. You know, you have the funny one, the pretty one and the awesome one (that’s clearly you by the way!). Maybe she’s the chatty one.

    On a side note, I just bought a pomogranate, how do I deseed it? Hehehe

    🙂 Good luck with your problem!

    • It does make me wonder why she needs to talk so much. For sure. And I’m sure it is her “thing” I just think that maybe she should get a new “thing” if her “thing” is getting in the way of enjoying everybody else’s “things”. Lol.

  3. You seem to have done everything you could to ignore that person. In your shoes, I would avoid her. People who talk to much about themselves suck the energy out of everyone else and,as you noticed, emit negative energy.

    • That is good advice. I will do my best to avoid her – when I can. And when I have to deal with her I will count to ten or dream of daffodils or something to keep me in a positive mind frame.

    • I know. It’s true. I’m trying to just present a brave face and be as kind as I can. However, I did run away from her the other day when she wouldn’t stop talking. I think I started having an “Oh dear, I’m never going to get out of this” moment and got nervous. So I exclaimed “I forgot about something!” and ran off. I feel like a child. But I’m trying to practice tolerance.

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