Has this ever happened to you? You’re fine. You’re single and fabulous. But suddenly you’re not. One day you wake up aware you’re alone and are saddened by it. And suddenly you’re settling for frogs. Naturally you know frogs don’t deserve you. You are woman, after all. But, convenient and plentiful, frogs do have their appeal.
You start off just talking to frogs. A little flirting never harmed anyone. But dear lord don’t they keep croaking on about the most mundane things! To stand the boredom, you decide to get a drink. And another. And another. Suddenly you’re donning beer goggles and, seeing more prince than frog, necking with a 40 something frog named Mario (granted a glorious shade of kelly green).
But, hey! No harm done, right? So why not try an experiment? Why not keep a frog around for a while? Surely one frog will turn prince. So you pick a frog with worts a little less bulbous. Ever the optimist, you begin dating the frog – sharing a bag of flies at the movies, croaking out loud at the funny bits. He hippity hops in all the right places; you play leap frog in bed. And, ribbit by ribbit, you find yourself blind to the fact that you’re dating a frog at all.
Ladies, tell me truly, are they all frogs? And do they ever turn into royalty after adequate snogging time?